Bandtober Is a Scam and This Is My Villain Origin Story

I'm going to be the weird band director and say it: I hate Bandtober. And before anyone comes for me, I love band. I just don’t love crying in storage closets while fixing clarinet reeds and replying to 80 tech-crisis emails. I don’t even teach marching band anymore and I hate Bandtober.

Some people have their “Wicked” moment in Act II — mine hits around week two of October, when sleep is a myth and feedback comes louder than the kids screaming down the hallway. I’m not trying to go full Elphaba, but Bandtober really tests my “no one mourns the wicked” era.

Bandtober is loud, chaotic, emotional, and it has the nerve to demand both resilience and perfection. It requires parent/teacher conference nights (really hard on my introverted self) football games, band contests, mock auditions, real auditions, and lots of tears from students, and myself. This year it was defined by the quiet, gritty growth that sneaks in when everything feels like too much. It isn’t pretty, but it’s real.

Featuring Cynthia Erivo as Elphaba in Wicked (2024).

Promotional still via OUT; © Universal Pictures.

Pride in the Unpolished Moments

The moment I felt the most proud this month wasn’t a performance or a score. It was when my students started repeating my own line back to me:

“The only way to do hard things is to do hard things.”

We were in a flute section rehearsal and I was telling them how tired I was after staying up late the night before to finish my project for grad school. Then we all watched as my laptop fell off the podium onto floor and shattered. I told them the only thing left to do was to keep going because I didn't have time to cry right then. One of my kids called out from the second row “The only way to do hard things is to do hard things.” They didn’t whisper it sarcastically (for once). They believed it.

What I didn’t realize in the moment is that my students didn’t just see me struggle... they saw me recover. They saw an adult navigate stress without quitting, without lashing out, without pretending everything was okay. That counts, too. And in that tiny, exhausted moment, I realized that maybe the real victory wasn’t in phase 2 of region band auditions, but in their mindset.

The judges didn’t score that, but I did.

When Tech Goes Down and Spirits Follow

And then there was the day MakeMusic betrayed me. Not a little hiccup... a full-on digital meltdown that destroyed my Friday teaching plans and my sanity. It didn’t log practice time the night before it was due, and suddenly I was answering 80 parent emails like I worked tech support for a performance anxiety hotline.

I had to leave school and go get pizza for lunch, just to calm down. While I was doing that my watch was buzzing like a taser, letting me know that parents still needed my attention.

It was frustrating. It was exhausting. I wanted to just quit my job and leave.

But we problem-solved. We communicated with the MakeMusic team and they were lovely. They helped us troubleshoot and I learned a lot about Chromebooks that day.

We survived.

And honestly? While I hope it never happens again, I learned that I can survive a day of tech failures in the classroom. 

Sometimes Surviving Looks Like Crying in a Storage Closet

Here’s the part no PD session prepares you for: sometimes you need to ugly cry.

Back in the day, I was obsessed with LOST. Sawyer and I were destined, but I always thought Jack was a cutie! But strangely enough, that show gave me one of my most-used coping strategies.

When everything feels chaotic and overwhelming, you don’t fight the feelings. You give them five minutes, and then you move forward.

Here’s the moment that stuck with me:

“Fear is sort of an odd thing. When I was in residency, my first solo procedure was spinal surgery on a sixteen-year-old girl.

After thirteen hours, I accidentally tore a membrane as thin as tissue — nerves spilling out like angel-hair pasta. The terror was overwhelming.

So I made a choice. I let the fear in — completely — but only for five seconds.

I counted: one... two... three... four... five.

Then it was gone. And I finished the surgery.”

—Jack Shephard, LOST

No perfection. No pep talk. No pretending. Just feel it fully, briefly, and then keep going.

Sometimes the most heroic thing I do in a school day is give myself five minutes in a storage room to feel everything — cry, breathe, reset — and then walk back out and teach kids like a functioning adult.

It’s not glamorous. It’s not Pinterest-worthy. But honestly? It’s survival.

And survival still counts as progress.

Jack Shephard crying in Lost (2004).

Used here for commentary and humor. © ABC Studios.

Learning to Hold It Together Without Falling Apart

I’m not walking out of this month feeling like a new person. In fact, I’m exhausted and overwhelmingly grateful that I don’t teach marching band anymore. But I do feel like I learned how to keep Band Director Jennifer from overwhelming Everyday Human Jennifer. I didn’t spiral. I compartmentalized. I handled emotional chaos with… maybe slightly less chaos.

And in teaching, sometimes the win is simply crying in a closet, or eating pizza in silence with a friend, or even just driving home with the new Taylor Swift album blasting and telling yourself you will just try again tomorrow.

The Quiet Victory

I didn’t feel different — but somehow I stayed whole.

No trophy. No viral moment. Just resilience, crying in closets, and the courage to keep choosing this work even on the days it feels impossible.

If that’s not growth, I don’t know what is.

Final Thought

If Bandtober didn’t crown you, congratulate you, or coddle you, but you’re still here….showing up, trying again, and choosing kids over comfort….you won.

Even if you cried in the storage closet.

Especially if you cried in the storage closet.

References:

Abrams, J. J. (Writer & Director). (2004, September 22). Pilot, Part 1 (Season 1, Episode 1) [TV series episode]. In J. J. Abrams, D. Lindelof, & B. Cuse (Executive Producers), Lost. ABC Studios.

Sim, B. (2024, November 15). Everything to know about Elphaba, Cynthia Erivo’s “Wicked” character. OUT. https://www.out.com/film/wicked-elphaba-cynthia-erivo-facts-origin-book-musical-movie-changes#rebelltitem1

Wicked [Film promotional image]. (2024). Universal Pictures.

(Image accessed via Sim, 2024 article.) Featuring Cynthia Erivo as Elphaba in Wicked (2024).

Media Notice: Promotional still from Wicked (2024), Universal Pictures. Accessed via OUT article by Bernardo Sim (2024).GIF and quote from Lost (2004), ABC Studios. All media used under fair use for commentary, criticism, and educational purposes. All rights belong to their respective copyright holders.