Framing the Why: Learning That Belongs to the Learner

 

Throughout the Applied Digital Learning (ADL) program, I experienced what it feels like to be a learner who is trusted with real problems, real choices, and real responsibility. I also learned something important about myself in the process: I function best when I have clear parameters to work within, especially at the beginning of a project. Total freedom without structure is not motivating for me—it is stressful. That realization shaped how I engaged with the COVA approach and the Creating Significant Learning Environments (CSLE) framework throughout the program.

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While this reflection is a required component of the ADL program, it is written with a broader audience in mind. This post is intended for educators, instructional coaches, campus and district leaders, and future collaborators who are interested in designing learning experiences that move beyond compliance and toward ownership. It is also written with future professional opportunities in mind, including doctoral study and leadership roles, where clarity of learning philosophy and instructional design matters.

Using the COVA approach and CSLE as a lens, this reflection examines how choice, ownership, and voice influenced my learning, and how those same principles can be applied intentionally and realistically in educational settings.

 

When COVA Stopped Feeling Like “Fake Choice”

 

I first realized that I genuinely had choice, ownership, and voice when I began designing my ePortfolio. While I had already completed my innovation project, that work did not initially feel like it fully belonged to me. As the only fine arts educator in my cohort, my problem of practice felt predetermined, as if I had been quietly funneled into a specific lane.

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My innovation plan focused on acquiring funding for band students to access instructional technology—including iPads, individual tuners, tuner microphones, and tuner caddies—so students could work on intonation both individually and within the ensemble. This idea emerged directly from our annual participation in the UIL Concert and Sightreading evaluation process, where intonation has consistently been an area of struggle reflected in rubric scores. Although securing funding for this project proved difficult, the process taught me the importance of conducting thorough research and grounding funding requests in clearly articulated instructional needs.

 

This Work Was Never Just Coursework

 

This innovation plan was not created simply to complete a degree requirement students consistently struggle with intonation, and UIL evaluations regularly reflect that challenge. I developed this plan with the genuine hope that my district might fund a solution to address a persistent instructional issue.

 

While budget and staffing realities ultimately made implementation impossible, the process itself was invaluable. I learned how to conduct academic research, justify instructional decisions, and design meaningful professional learning experiences. Although I was unable to present this specific plan to my district, the experience now informs how I approach future instructional and professional learning initiatives. The work mattered—regardless of outcome.

 

Ownership Through Design: The ePortfolio as a Turning Point

 

Where the innovation project initially felt constrained by expectations tied to my content area, the ePortfolio shifted that perception entirely. For the first time, I was responsible for how my work was framed, which artifacts were highlighted, and how my professional voice was represented. The program stopped feeling like a checklist of prerequisite courses and began to feel like a learning journey I was actively shaping.

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Two of my most meaningful assignments emerged from this phase of the program. The Learning Manifesto (video below) from our EDLD 5302 class required me to move beyond completing work and instead examine what I believe about education and how those beliefs shape my actions as both a teacher and a learner. Writing it required deep reflection and articulation of values I had not previously put into words.

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Similarly, the Personality and Leadership Assessment pushed me to clarify my leadership philosophy. While I was already familiar with my personality type, reflecting on how my introverted nature intersects with leadership helped me recognize that I value being inviting while maintaining high standards and structure. This assignment helped me think intentionally about my future goals and how I hope to lead within educational systems.

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That sense of ownership led to authentic engagement. I found myself enjoying the design process, refining navigation for the reader, and creating an additional “Real Talk” section that houses practical resources for teacher support. These choices were not required, but they were meaningful. That was the moment COVA became real for me.

 

Freedom, Discomfort, and Self-Directed Learning

 

Despite this growing sense of ownership, my initial reaction to the level of freedom offered by the ePortfolio was significant stress. I am very much a “by-the-rubric” person. Even in music, there is always a rubric—tone quality, intonation, balance, and blend. Knowing that my entire master’s journey would be housed in a space without a prescribed structure was deeply uncomfortable.

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I responded the only way I knew how: research. I explored other ePortfolios to identify patterns, structure, and design logic. Over time, that process clarified what I wanted to create and how I wanted to be perceived by someone unfamiliar with my work. No one told me when the work was “done,” and no one validated my decisions in advance. I had to decide when my work met my own standards. This was an uncomfortable but necessary shift toward self-directed learning.

 

Adjusting to Ownership and Letting Go of Perfection

 

Adjusting to this learning model required a fundamental change in how I approached my work. Instead of emailing professors with formatting questions or seeking explicit approval, I had to trust my professional judgment. While there were elements I refined after the fact, the majority of my ePortfolio structure worked the first time—and that mattered.

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This shift was especially evident in EDLD 5303, which focused heavily on building the ePortfolio itself. I discovered that I genuinely enjoy having a space that is entirely my own—a place to reflect on classroom experiences and explore how technology enhances instruction. The Exploring Digital Resources assignment introduced me to tools such as Flat.io, which I later incorporated into my classroom practice.That assignment also inspired the creation of a Digital Toolbox page on my ePortfolio, where I explain how various technologies function within the band program.

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Looking back, I would have embraced my independence as a creator earlier rather than waiting for validation. As a recovering perfectionist, this remains an ongoing lesson, but one that aligns directly with COVA and CSLE: learning is iterative, reflective, and owned by the learner.

 

Finding My Voice Beyond the Role of “Student”

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One of the most challenging aspects of this process was learning to write with my organization, and the broader educational community, as the audience. I have spent most of my career as an assistant band director and do not see myself as a nationally recognized figure. Trusting that my experience was still valuable enough to warrant a public voice was difficult.

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This challenge became particularly clear during the article-writing process in EDLD 5317. I struggled to write about music because I felt underqualified to speak publicly on the topic. When that piece was later published in a statewide music education journal, I was genuinely surprised.

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Around the same time, I learned that I would be leading a statewide professional development session at a major music education conference. These experiences forced a shift in how I viewed myself, not just as a student completing coursework, but as a practitioner with a voice worth sharing.

 

Reflection Through Blogging: Voice, Ownership, and Authentic Expression

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The blogging component of the ePortfolio further strengthened my sense of ownership and voice. I intentionally infused my blog writing with themes drawn from Parks and Recreation, Harry Potter, and Wicked. These are cultural touchstones I return to when life feels overwhelming. This choice allowed my writing to feel personal, authentic, and sustainable rather than performative.

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One of my favorite required posts, “From Perfectionism to Progress: How ChatGPT Helped Me Set Boundaries and Embrace a Growth Mindset (With a Little Help from Leslie Knope),” explored my discomfort with group work and the challenge of setting boundaries. Although blogging was initially an assigned task, it became a meaningful reflective outlet.

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I also wrote additional posts beyond the course requirements, including “Bandtober is a Scam and This Is My Villain Origin Story,” simply because the process helped me think, decompress, and reconnect with joy in my work.

 

Leading Change with Intention

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Early in the program, my attitude toward leading change could best be described as willing but not eager. While I knew I was capable, I was also content to let others take the lead. As a band director, I already manage constant change within my classroom, which may have influenced my comfort stepping back in other contexts.

The Organizational Change Plan in EDLD 5304 helped me reconceptualize leadership beyond my classroom. This project strengthened my ability to communicate with stakeholders, advocate for instructional change, and navigate resistance thoughtfully. Through this experience, I learned that leadership does not require being the loudest voice. Resistance, I learned, is not failure...it is information.

 

Alignment with My Learning Philosophy

 

The COVA approach and CSLE align strongly with my learning philosophy. I believe learners produce better work when they are engaged, trusted, and given ownership over meaningful tasks. Schools have a responsibility to design learning experiences that are authentic rather than performative.

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Rather than changing my beliefs, this framework provided language and structure to articulate them more clearly, particularly as I move forward into doctoral study in curriculum and instruction with an emphasis in digital technology. I believe technology can enhance learning outcomes, but only when educators intentionally design environments where technology supports learning rather than replaces it.